There's a character I've met in my travels And of him in this song I will tell Just listen and you'll be reminded Of someone like him you know well He annoys everyone who is near him, Sitting there on his barstool He's a really nice bloke when he's sober But a pain in the rear when he's full..
With each drink he gathers more wisdom While good manners take a back seat He butts in on your conversation And bores you until you retreat Then he starts on the barmaid or barman With unlimited dull boring junk He's a man of few words when he's sober But you can't shut him up when he's drunk.
Oh they're personal friends of the famous The dancers and sportsmen and so And they tell all the bad things about them Or the good things you don't want to know Repeating themselves as they bore you You're a bloody good lot they insist They don't know you at all when they're sober But they're your best friend when they're pissed.
Well I'm using the men for example But we know lots of women the same Quite often they're worse than the men are Cause no-one can talk like a dame. They'll hug you and call you oh darlin' You're the only great hero I choose And they're pretty stand off-ish when sober But come on like a rash when they're boozed.
So with each drink they gather more wisdom While good manners take a back seat And they butt in on your conversation And bore you until you retreat Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstool Well they're pretty nice folks when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full.
All together. Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstool Well they're pretty nice folks when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full
All together. And with each drink they gather more wisdom While good manners take a back seat And they butt in on your conversation And bore you until you retreat Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstool Well they're really nice folks when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full. dah dah da da dah.