Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone I'm so glad Dad impregnated you and nine months later I burst out of your womb
I remember when I was eight my life was going great my sister loved Snapple there was no debate I thought it would be funny to play a sweet prank take the plastic off the cap
And put it in her drink (ha ha) and when she sipped it I saw her start to choke I couldn't forsee it'd get caught in her throat
Her birthday was ruined because of my stupid mistake She never drank Snapple again and I got all her cake Thanks, Mom, for stepping up and saving the day (you rock)
I didn't want you to have to find out this way (love you) Hey, Mom, I did something that wasn't that cool so now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule
Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone I'm so glad Dad impregnated you and nine months later I burst out of your womb
And when I was fifteen I messed up again trying to impress some girls with my friends See, I understand the ladies and here was the scoop: hot girls can't resist the sight
Of burning poop (ha ha) So I found a dog lured him up the steps tried to feed him X-Lax but he wouldn't ingest but I didn't stress out I just dealt with the glitches
I knew what I had to do to impress these b*tches (*whistle*) but the fire kept spreading it wouldn't stay put so my mama had to step the crap out with her foot Hey, Mom, I did something
That wasn't that cool so now I gotta follow that Mother's Day Rule
Hey, Mom, you're the bomb for giving us a home and not grounding me for nudes you found on my phone I'm so glad Dad impregnated you and nine months later I burst out of your womb
Hey, Mom! (do doo doo do doo doo do doo) You're the bomb! (do doo doo do doo doo do doo) Hey, Mom! (do doo doo do doo doo do doo) You're the bomb! (do doo doo do doo doo do doo)
Sorry we hid so many things from you (years ago) but here's a couple other things you probably (should know) I watched porn on the computer and I told you (I never did) put a sandwich in the VCR
When I was (a little kid) I punched a hole in the wall and I hid it with a (poster) tried to cook pizza in the mother flipping toaster threw a big ass party every time (you were away)
Lied to a hot girl and told her (I was gay) and my fish might have died because I overfed and I might have done some stuff with a girl In your bed, yeah