Something Rotten! [Original Broadway Cast, 2015] - 05 A Musical (Brad Oscar, Brian d'Arcy James & Rotten Ensemble) | Текст песни

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• Something Rotten! [Original Broadway Cast, 2015]
• 05 A Musical (Brad Oscar, Brian d'Arcy James & Rotten Ensemble)

NICK (spoken):
What the hell are musicals?

NOSTRADAMUS (spoken):
It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops
And the plot is conveyed through song

NICK (spoken):
Through song?

NOSTRADAMUS:
Yes.

NICK:
Wait, so an actor is saying his lines and out of nowhere he just starts singing?

NOSTRADAMUS:
Yes.

NICK:
Well that is the
(Singing) Stupidest thing that I have ever heard
You're doing a play, got something to say
So you sing it?
It's absurd
Who on earth is going to sit there while an actor breaks into song
And what possible thought could the audience think
Other than "This is horribly wrong"

NOSTRADAMUS (spoken):
Remarkably? They won't think that

NICK (spoken:)
Seriously? Why not?

NOSTRADAMUS:
Because it's a musical
A musical
And nothing's as amazing as a musical
With song and dance
And sweet romance
And happy endings happening by happenstance
Bright lights, stage fights, and a dazzling chorus
You wanna be great?
Then you gotta create a musical

NICK (spoken):
I don't know
I find it hard to believe that people would actually pay to see something like this

NOSTRADAMUS:
Let's just say it's a Saturday night
And you wanna go out on the town
Got a lady to flatter who might give it up if you don't let her down
You could go see a tragedy
That wouldn't be very fun
Or a play from Greek mythology
See a mother have sex with her son, euggh
You could see a drama
With all of the trauma and pain
Or you could see something more relaxing and less taxing on the brain

You could go see a musical
A musical
A puppy piece, releasing all your blues-ical
Where crude is cool (Ahhh)
A catchy tune
And limber-legged ladies thrill you 'til you swoon
Oohs, ahhs, big applause, and a standing ovation

NOSTRADAMUS & ENSEMBLE:
The future is bright
If you could just write a musical

NOSTRADAMUS:
Some make you happy
Some make you sad
Some are quite big
Some quite small
Some are too long
Some are just plays with song
Some musicals have no talking at all

NICK (Spoken): No talking at all

NOSTRADAMUS:
That's right
There's no talking
All of the dialogue is song
In a very dramatic fashion

NICK (spoken):
Um, really?

NOSTRADAMUS:
Yes, really

NICK (spoken):
There's no talking

NOSTRADAMUS:
There's no talking
And they often stay on one note for a very long time
So when they change to a different note, you notice
And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect
But mostly you just sit there asking yourself
"Why aren't they talking?"

NICK (spoken):
That sounds miserable

NOSTRADAMUS:
I believe it's pronounced Misérable

NICK (spoken):
And people actually like this?

NOSTRADAMUS:
(spoken)
No, they love it, and what's not to love!
It's such a delight
There's nothing quite like a musical

(spoken)
Another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet!
Feel that fascinating rhythm moving to your feet
Whoa, whoa (Um, what is that)
Feel your ass gyrating to that titillating beat (Are you okay?)
You slap your lap
And finger snap
That's when you know it's time to tap
Oh

NICK (spoken):
What the hell are you doing now?

NOSTRADAMUS (spoken):
It's called a dance break
Apparently this happens in musicals as well
People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance

NICK (spoken):
Why?
Does it advance the plot? (No)
Advance character? (Not necessarily)
Then why do it?

NOSTRADAMUS (spoken):
Because it's entertaining! 5, 6, 7, 8

Another vision!
It's a musical
Whaddya talk, whaddya talk
It's a musical!
A Suessical?
No, a musical with girls on stage

ENSEMBLE:
A musical

NOSTRADAMUS:
We've got snappy repartees
And the women are risqué
And the chorus boys are kind of gay

ENSEMBLE:
A musical

NOSTRADAMUS:
A true, blue, new

NOSTRADAMUS & ENSEMBLE:
Musical

NOSTRADAMUS (spoken):
Stand back, it's a musical!
Some musicals are very serious

NOSTRADAMUS & ENSEMBLE:
A big, glittering musical
A musical
It's a musical for us!

NOSTRADAMUS:
A big and shiny,
Mighty fine-y, glitter, glitz, and chorus line-y
Bob your head and shake your hiney
Musical
It's a musical (It's a musical)
It is a musical (It's a musical)

NICK (spoken):
Yes! I get it now!
We'll do a musical (No kidding)
A musical
What could be more amazing than a musical
With song and dance
And sweet romance
And with a musical we might have half a chance

NOSTRADAMUS & NICK:
Oohs, ahhs, big applause with everyone cheering for us

NOSTRADAMUS:
And for some unexplainable reason
The crowd goes wild every time
When dancers kick in unison in one big wonderful line

ALL:
And then you got yourself a musical
A musical
A la, la, la, la, la, la, la palooza-sical
With splashy style and a big fake smile
A snazzy pants, some jazzy hands, I swear that I'll
Cross my heart, hope to die if it isn't a doozy

NOSTRADAMUS:
Take it from me
They'll be flocking to see

NOSTRADAMUS & NICK:
Your star lit
Won't quit
Big hit
Musical

ALL: A big hit musical

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