What did I do wrong Oh, you nearly drove me cuckoo Am I really all that bad You're worse than Hannibal Lector, Charlie Manson, Freddie Kruger
Why are we still together Oh, I can’t leave you till you’re dead You mean till death do us part I mean like cyanide, strangulation or an axe through your head
It was lucky for us I turned the radio on They say that music soothes the savage beast There was something in that voice that stopped us seeing red The two of us would surely have ended up dead
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) You’ll never know but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) I’ve never thrown my knickers at you And I don’t come from Wales
Still haven’t solved our problem You mean we hate each others guts Still wanna poison your pizza And I still wanna cut off your nuts
I’ve phoned the marriage guidance I tied the phone line round your neck I’m sick of all this hatred Oh, that’ll be the arsenic making you sick
You were about to drive me over the edge of a cliff As I tried to jump out I knocked the stereo on You changed your mind and then slammed on the brakes It was lucky for us we’d brought his greatest hits
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) You’ll never know but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) I’ve never thrown my knickers at you And I don’t come from Wales
And now our war is over I’ve lost the urge to break your neck I owe my life to What’s New Pussy Cat Delilah stopped me hating you and wishing you dead
Oh, I used to call you Satan And you were Cruella De Ville But now you call me your Delilah And now I’m not your Lucifer I am just your pussy cat
But just a word of warning now Just in case we ever get tired of his voice I know the Mafia, Godzilla, King Kong And I know an atom bomb that’s going for a song
You stopped us from killing each other (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) You’ll never know but you saved our lives (Tom Jones, Tom Jones) I’ve never thrown my knickers at you And I don’t come from Wales