What do you mean, "we"? (The pants walk off, leaving Spongebob alone.) Spongebob: Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. AM I THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH? (A female fish walks up to Spongebob.) Female Fish: No, I am. I forgot to put on sunscreen. (She places a fin on herself, and it leaves a radioactive sounding mark, which vanishes.) Spongebob: Ouch. (A fish walks up to both) Guy Fish: No, I am. I got sand in my buns. (Shows them two sandy hamburger buns. There is a rumbling coming from the sand and a whale pops his head out of the sand.) Whale: No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me. All: (to Spongebob) What happened to you? Spongebob: I lost my best friend. All: How? (Spongebob grabs a sand guitar and sings) Spongebob: When I ripped… (rip) my pants, I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, all just because I (rip) ripped my pants. (All the creatures assemble on a stage with an instrument and sing:) When big Larry came 'round just to put him down, Spongebob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and ripped his pants. Spongebob: I know I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse, but the pain feels so much worse, 'cause winding up with no one is a lot less fun than a burn from the sun or sand in your buns. Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget, so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance, and you won't end up like the fool who ripped his pants. (The whole group rips their pants, although Spongebob ripped his underpants. By now, a huge crowd of fish has gathered and is cheering the group onstage. A blimp flies by with Spongebob's name on it.) Sandy: Spongebob! Spongebob: Sandy! (She jumps on onstage and hugs Spongebob.) Sandy: Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. (Larry appears) Larry: Spongebob, that was so righteous. Would you… sign my pants? (Spongebob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underpants rip and fall off, leaving a Spongebob NudiePants. Someone wolf-whistles