This dimly lit confinement that I call my own apartment has set me in a web of self pity and decay I seem to find myself just lying awake in bed until 2 PM on Saturdays just wasting myself away
I'll never leave
Tell me that I'm different. I know it doesn't make a difference that my differences differ, it's all the same anyways. 'Cause I try (yeah I try) and I'll try (yeah sure,\"try\") but in the end I'm still alone and just totally lame
At least I tell myself that anyways
I'm hard on myself and I can't seem to stray from the idea that I'm worthless and have nothing else to give I haven't slept a wink in what feels like days but I know I've only been awake since noon today And it's 4 PM
God damn it
Since you left I haven't felt the same. The reason why I live, 3000 miles away It's just hard to sit around all day and not be reminded of all the things you'd say To make me laugh, to make my fears go away A condition that's position eats away at me everyday I just wish there could be another way for you to come home, back to me, back to the old days
These days that I just lay awake have taught me what you really mean I should be more independent but I find it hard to determine if it's even worth living my own days