I don't necessarily have to be here for this, I’m gonna keep the headphones though. Mother fucker, I’m awesome! No, you’re not, dude, don't lie! I’m awesome, I’m driving round in my mom’s ride, I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online. Motherfucker, I’m awesome! I will run away from a brawl, I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called. I’m awesome, I can't afford to buy eight whores and I talk to myself on my facebook wall.
You know my pants sag low (low), Even though (though) that went out of style like ten years ago (go). Spose I got the swagger of a cripple, I got little biceps getting fatter in the middle. And lyrically I’m not the best, Physically the opposite of randy moss and yet so preposterous, Feel the awesomeness the most obnoxious guest up at the sausage fest. Oh yes, the girls are repulsed so I hide in my hood like I’m joining a cult. Uh huh, I’m as nervous as my cattle dirty Curtis, All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are perches, Me, I’ll never date an actress, Got too many back zits, Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss. Every show I do is poorly promoted and if you like this, It’s ‘cause my little sister wrote it.
I’m awesome Mother fucker, I’m awesome! No, you’re not, dude, don't lie! I’m awesome, I’m driving round in my mom’s ride, I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online. Motherfucker, I’m awesome! I will run away from a brawl, I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called. I’m awesome, I can't afford to buy eight whores and I talk to myself on my facebook wall.
I’m awesome! The swagger of a cripple Check it out I’m from Maine and I don't hunt, nope, and I can't ski, Smoke weed but I can't roll blunts, Might be wit with my wifey, my necks not icy, Eating at McDonald’s because Subway’s pricey. Uh, and my unibrow plucked, Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks She’s like - for what? Blunt wraps and some Heinekens? You skinny prick, Go get a gym membership and vitamins! I’m like – mom, please don't blame it on me, I got my bad habits from you, dad and aunt Steve, My attitude’s sour, but my futon's sweet, And the hair on my ass - it is jumunji. Soup untailored, ringtone Taylor Swift, Can't tweet upon my twitter ‘cause I haven't done shit, Bank account red, body ungroomed, The good thing about me is I’m off stage soon.
I’m awesome! No, you’re not, dude, don't lie! I’m awesome, I’m driving round in my mom’s ride, I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online. Motherfucker, I’m awesome! I will run away from a brawl, I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called. I’m awesome, I can't afford to buy eight whores and I talk to myself on my facebook wall. I’m awesome!
Further more I’m cornier than ethanol, cheeser than provolone, I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home, With a ego the size of Tim Duncan, Even though I got shit for brains like a plumpkin, I’m 24, serving lobster rolls, Because I spent a decade filling optimoes And I’m not even the bomb in Maine On my game, I’m only about as sexy as John McCain. Now put your hands up if you have nightmares, If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here, If you got dandruff, if you drink light beer… I’m out of breath…
But I’m awesome! No, you’re not, dude, don't lie! I’m awesome, I’m driving round in my mom’s ride, I’m awesome, a quarter of my life gone by and I met all my friends online. Motherfucker, I’m awesome! I will run away from a brawl, I’m awesome, there’s no voicemail, nobody called. I’m awesome, I can't afford to buy eight whores and I tal