Once upon a time In a far-off kingdom There lay a small village At the edge of the woods
[CINDERELLA] I wish...
[NARRATOR] And in this village
[CINDERELLA] More than anything...
[NARRATOR] lived a young maiden,
[CINDERELLA] More than life... More than jewels...
[NARRATOR] A carefree young lad...
[JACK] I wish... More than life...
[NARRATOR] And a childless baker...
[BAKER & WIFE] I wish...
[NARRATOR] with his wife.
[BAKER] More than anything...
[WIFE] More than the moon...
[BAKER'S WIFE] I wish...
[CINDERELLA] The King is giving a Festival.
[BAKER & WIFE] More than life...
[JACK] I wish...
[CINDERELLA] I wish to go to the Festival.
[BAKER & WIFE] More than riches...
[CINDERELLA] and the ball...
[JACK] I wish my cow would give us some milk.
[CINDERELLA & BAKER'S WIFE] More than anything...
[BAKER] I wish we had a child.
[JACK] Please, pal-
[BAKER'S WIFE] I want a child...
[JACK] Squeeze, pal...
[CINDERELLA] I wish to go to the Festival.
[JACK] I wish you'd give us some milk or even cheese... I wish...
[BAKER & WIFE] I wish we might have a child. I wish...
[STEPMOTHER] You wish to go to the Festival?
[NARRATOR] The poor girl's parents had died,
[STEPMOTHER] You, Cinderella, the Festival? You wish to go to the Festival?
[FLORINDA] What, you, Cinderella, the Festival? The Festival?!
[LUCINDA] What, you wish to go to the Festival?
[ALL THREE] The Festival? The King's Festival?
[NARRATOR] And now she lived with her stepmother
[STEPMOTHER] The Festival...HA!
[NARRATOR] who had two daughters of her own.
[FLORINDA] Look at your nails!
[LUCINDA] Look at your dress!
[STEPMOTHER] People would laugh at you-
[CINDERELLA] Nevertheless, I still want to go to the Festival And dance before the Prince.
[STEPMOTHER & STEPSISTERS] Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...
[NARRATOR] All three were beautiful of face, but vile and black of heart. The young lad had no father and his mother-
[JACK'S MOTHER] I wish...
[NARRATOR] Well, she was at her wit's end-
[JACK'S MOTHER] I wish my son were not a fool. I wish my house was not a mess. I wish the cow was full of milk. I wish the walls were full of gold- I wish a lot of things... What in heaven's name are you doing with the cow inside the house?
[JACK] I thought if he got nice and warm, he might produce some milk.
[JACK'S MOTHER] It's a she... How many times do I have to tell you, only shes can give milk?
[NARRATOR] And then there was a hungry little girl who always wore a red cape.
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD] I wish... It's not for me, It's for my Granny in the woods. A loaf of bread, please- To bring my poor old hungry Granny in the woods... Just a loaf of bread, please...
[STEPMOTHER] Cinderella, if you can pick up these lentils, and finish your chores in time, then you may go to the ball with us. Come along ladies...
[STEPSISTERS] Yes, Mother. Good luck.
[CINDERELLA] Come, little birds, Down from the eaves And the leaves, Over fields, Out of castles and ponds...
[JACK] Now, squeeze, pal...
[CINDERELLA] Ahhhhhhhhhh... Quick, little birds, Flick through the ashes. Pick and peck, but swiftly, Sift through the ashes, Into the pot...
[JACK'S MOTHER] Now listen to me well, son. Milky-White must be taken to market.
[JACK] But, mother, no- he's the best cow in the world-
[JACK'S MOTHER] Was- She has been dry for weeks now, with no food or money, we've got no choice but to sell her. look at her.
[JACK] But, Milky-White's my best friend
[JACK'S MOTHER] Look at her... There are bugs on her dugs. There are flies in her eyes. There's a lump on her rump Big enough to be a hump-
[JACK] But-
[JACK'S MOTHER] We've no time to sit and dither, While her wither's wither with her- And no one keeps a cow for a friend! Sometimes I wonder what's goin' on in that head of yours.
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD] Into the woods, It's time to go, I hate to leave, I have to go. Into the woods- It's time, and so I must begin my journey. Into the woods And through the trees To where I am Expected ma'am, Into the woods To Grandmother's house- Into the woods To Grandmother's house-
[BAKER'S WIFE] Now you're certain of your way?
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD] The way is clear, The light is good, I have no fear, Nor no one should. The woods are just trees, The trees are just wood. I sort of hate to ask it, But do you have a basket?
[BAKER'S WIFE] Yes, we do.
[BAKER] I don't suppose you're planning on buying any of these-
[BAKER'S WIFE] Oh, shhhhh... Now, don't stray and be late, alright?
[BAKER] You might save some of those sweets for Granny? Oh my-
[BAKER'S WIFE] Just, leave it...
[BAKER] She's a thief!
[LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD] Into the woods And down the dell, The path is straight, I know it well. Into the woods, And who can tell What's waiting on the journey? Into the woods To bring some bread To Granny who Is sick in bed. Never can tell What lies ahead. For all that I know, She's already dead. But into the woods, Into the woods, Into the woods To Grandmother's house And home before dark. [FLORINDA] Cinderella!
[LUCINDA] Get up here!
[CINDERELLA] Fly, birds, Back to the sky...
[FLORINDA] We're waiting!
[CINDERELLA] Back to the eaves And the leaves And the fields And the-
[FLORINDA] Hurry up and do my hair, Cinderella! Are you really wearing that?
[LUCINDA] Here, I found a little tear, Cinderella. Can't you hide it with a hat?
[CINDERELLA] You look beautiful.
[FLORINDA] I know.
[LUCINDA] She means me.
[FLORINDA] No she didn't.
[CINDERELLA] Mother said be good, Father said be nice, That was always their advice. So be nice, Cinderella, Good, Cinderella, Nice good good nice-
[FLORINDA] Tighter!
[CINDERELLA] What's the good of being good If everyone is blind Always leaving you behind? Never mind, Cinderella, Kind Cinderella- Nice good nice kind good nice-
[FLORINDA] OW- Not that tight! Clod!
[BAKER] Who might that be?
[BAKER'S WIFE] We've sold our last loaf of bread!
[BAKER] It's the witch from next-door.
[BAKER'S WIFE] We have no bread...
[WITCH] I don't want your bread...
[BAKER] Then what is it you wish?
[WITCH] It's not what I wish, It's what you wish. Nothing cooking in that belly now is there? And there will never be, Unless you do exactly as I say. In three days time a blue-moon will appear, Only then can the curse be, undone...
[BAKER'S WIFE] What curse?
[WITCH] The one I placed on this house.
[BAKER] What are you talking about?
[WITCH] In the past, when you were no more than a babe, Your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage. They were a lovely couple, But not lovely neighbors. You see... Your mother was with child, And she developed an unusual appetite. She admired my beautiful garden, And she told your father that What she wanted more than anything, In the world, was... Greens, greens, nothing but greens: Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery, Asparagus and watercress and Fiddleferns and lettuce-! He said, \"All right,\" But it wasn't, quite, 'Cause I caught him in the autumn In my garden one night! He was robbing me, Anoying me, Rooting through my rutabaga, Raiding my arugula and Ripping up the rampion My champion! My favorite!- I should have laid a spell on him Right there, I could have turned him into stone Or a dog... Or a chair... But I let him have the rampion- I'd lots to spare. In return, however, I said, \"Fair is fair: You can let me have the baby That your wife will bear. And we'll call it square.\"
[BAKER] I had a brother?
[WITCH] No. But, you had a sister.
[BAKER] Where is she?
[WITCH] She's mine now! And you'll never find her, Small price to pay for what Else your father stole from me. It cost me my youth, my beauty. My mother warned me, She would punish me With the curse of ugliness, If I ever lost any of them.
[BAKER'S WIFE] Lost what?
[WITCH] The beans...
[BAKER & WIFE] Beans?
[WITCH] The special beans... I'd let him go, I didn't know, he'd stolen my beans. I was watching him crawl, Back over the wall-! Then bang! Crash! A lightning flash! Well, that's another story, Never mind- Anyway, at last The big day came, And I made my claim. \"Oh, don't take away the baby,\" They shrieked and screeched, But I did, And I hid her Where she'll never be reached. And your father cried, And your mother died. When for extra measure- I admit it was a pleasure- I said, \"Sorry, I'm still not mollified.\" And I laid a little spell on them- You, too, son- That your family tree Would always be a barren one...
[BAKER] How could you do that?
[WITCH] And when your mother died, Your father deserted you. Your father was no father so why should you be?
So there's no more fuss And there's no more scenes And my garden thrives- You should see my nectarines! But I'm telling you the same I tell kings and queens: Don't ever never ever Mess around with my greens! Especially the beans.
[JACK] Yeah, but why do we have to go to the next village?
[JACK'S MOTHER] Because, everyone in this village, knows the cow hasn't given a drop of milk in weeks.