When I was younger, just a bad little kid, My mama noticed funny things I did, Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head That's when my mama said
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] What did she say?
[ORIN] She said, \"My boy, I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causin' things pain Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist You'll be a success
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque! Watch him suck up that gas! Oh, my god! He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
[PATIENT] Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!
[ORIN] Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come! I am your dentist
[PATIENT] Goodness gracious!
[ORIN] And I enjoy the career that I picked
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Really love it
[ORIN] I am your dentist
[PATIENT] Fitting braces
[ORIN] And I get off on the pain I inflict
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Really love it
[ORIN] I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON] Bicuspid
[ORIN] It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted And though it may cause my patients distress, Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me Oh, mama 'Cause I'm a dentist and a success Say ah!