It's four o' clock the t.v.'s on my mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone I change the channel I change my mind I change my life I wanna leave it all behind cause I don't have a mind of my own I am influenced by everything I see and I can't help it now everything in my life just thinks for me can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease worshiping my idle time a life I cannot seize trapped by depression and I sleep all day but xanax, valium, attavan makes it all ok it's so much more than a cry for attention no loving hands can sooth this ache so much more than a war with the world it's my own degradation it's my own self hate I preach my pessimism right out loud to anyone who'll listen I'm not afraid to be alive I'm afraid to be alone late at night my monsters find me from under the bed or out of my past all alone with nobody to talk to sanity gets put to the test I close my eyes but I'm still haunted sometimes I get too twisted to sleep as all my world crumbles all around me inspirations become admissions of defeat cuz I don't have a mind of my own everything in my life just thinks for me