We broke up last weekend Beneath a chestnut tree You said you wanted something to remember me.
Felt bad saying no to you baby, ‘Cause you looked so hurt When you asked for my favorite sweatshirt.
Now I’m lying in bed Regrets running through my head Oh, the life I could have led…
I don’t miss you, but I miss my hoodie (I miss you too!) Oh Hoodie, is that you? (Yes it’s me!) I miss your holes, your grass stains moreso! (I miss your torso!)
(She’s holding me hostage, up in her sorority I’m covered in pills ‘cause she’s always dryin’ me. I want to escape, but I’ve got no opposable thumbs to exert Or arms or legs or a body or a brain I’m a sweatshirt.
Used to be one of the guys Now I’m dominated by Body butter and Secret Ultra Dry)