Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh Edwin Meese, Edwin Meese, him and his flock of Canadian geese, are flyin’ to the south side of town. They’re comin’ to close me down cuz they can’t get it up anymore. (Come on down, come on down come on down to the Pornoshop) They’re tryin’ to close my store. They’re comin’ down to try to bust me but they can’t take away my inventory. Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh Come on in, we got private booths Where you can wear a leisure chute Come on in, we’ll give you rope so you can jack off while you’re shootin’ dope I own the door . . . . I mop the floor . . . . Nobody uses the ashtrays anymore I been workin’ here all my life I ain’t even got no wife but I got inflatable dolls We got vibrators up the ass You can come and make a pass Slap the monkey while you wait Come on in and suck the bait Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh Miss McDonald had some porn, E-I-E-I-O And on that farm she had a master, E-I-E-I-O With a dead cock here and a dead clit there Here a clit there a cock everywhere a crock pot Miss McDonald served some porn, E-I-E-I-O Over 33 dead after they were served! It’s not as horrid as them awful hamburgers or disgusting french fries, you crock pot! We put everything in a brown paper bag Because we are purveyors of fine smut They tried to get me to open a Pizza Hut Instrumental break! (“Oh, I love your big cock!”) We got tapestries of Charlie Monoxide givin’ head to a parrot, not to mention his priceless erotica collection, international in scope! I don’t care if you’re from France or Spain or Belgium with a pack in your pants I’ll be workin’ around the clock If I get bored I’ll play with my cock My job to me will never matter cuz I’ll end up with the pancake batter Wo-oh-woh, wo-oh-woh Here comes Ed Meese with his Russian babe She’s from Kiev, her name is Gabe And she’s sufferin’ from a severe case of Soviet jewelry We never close (we never close) Cuz we know you gotta hose (and because we know there will never be a separation between SHOP and STATE) Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong Ding dong the shop is closed The Pornoshop, the pornoshop Ding dong, the pornoshop is closed!