Captain Non-entity At night I turn into captain non-entity Go to superhero parties and no-one remembers me I can out torch the human torch but I’ve got no talent when it comes to the small talk
Now it’s 3 am and I’m stuck in the kitchen Listening to heroes going on about the same out things again Thinking I’m immune to guns and bombs and radiation But I’m not immune to all this conversation
And I’m immune to death but I’ve felt dead for quite a while ‘cause when I try to crack a joke and no-one cracks a smile it hurts me pretty badly actually
And I go out and all I get Is my jeans smell of smoke and my heads full of regrets About all the things I should have said to girls But not just girls But, yeah, mainly girls
And I can feel it in my head If this carries on I’m gonna become A super villain instead
At night I turn into captain non-entity I’m thirty years old but I’m still listening to Morrissey And his words still mean far to much to me Although I’m sure he’s not really like that In reality he’s probably quite happy or at least relatively Or at least compared to the likes of me As he sits at home with his wife and kids that he has to keep hidden Just so he can maintain the constant illusion That his life’s still empty, cold and stressful ‘cause we hate it when our friends become successful
And I can feel it in my head If this carries on I’m gonna become A super villain instead
I’m gonna start up a super villain group Called the Super Lonelies And we’re gonna go around this city making people lonely just like us We’ll expose the lies in other people’s lives Between boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives ‘cause it’s so easy to deconstruct a person’s sense of trust – it’s like a giant game of Jenga – just pull out the right block and it just falls apart but in a way I’m doing them a favour like when a parent buys a child a pet that’s gonna die just to teach them about death I’m gonna teach people how to cry I’m gonna build them up and knock them down ‘til wearing an alcoholic frown is the fashion of choice in this town
And I can feel it in my head If this carries on It’s gonna be quite frightening
If only I’d learnt to talk to girls The world wouldn’t have to be so afraid