There was a barber and his wife. And he was beautiful... A proper artist with a knife, but they transported him for life. And he was beautiful...
Barker his name was. Benjamin Barker.
He had this wife, ya see. Pretty little thing, silly little nit. Had her chance for the moon on a string... Poor thing! Poor thing! There was this judge, ya see... Wanted her like mad! Everyday he sent her a flower But did she come down from her tower? Sat up there and sulked by the hour Poor fool! Ah, but there was worse yet to come Pure thing! Well, Beadle calls on her all poor light Poor thing! Poor thing! The judge, he tells her, is all contright. He blames himself for her dreadful plight. She must come straight to his house tonight! Poor thing! Poor thing! Of course when she goes there... Poor thing! Poor thing! They're having this ball all in masks. There's no one she knows there! Poor dear! Poor thing! She wonders, tormented and drinks! Poor thing! The judge has repented, she thinks. Poor thing! "Oh where is Judge Turpin?" she asks... He was there, alright! Only not so contright! She wasn't no match for such craft, ya see. And everyone thought it so drull. They figured she had to be daft, ya see. So all of them stood there and laughed, ya see! Poor soul! Poor thing!