Tobias: Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention, perlease? Do you wake every morning in shame and despair To discover your pillow is covered with hair Wot ought not to be there? Well, ladies and gentlemen, From now on you can waken at ease. You need never again have a worry or care, I will show you a miracle marvelous rare. Gentlemen, you are about to see Something wot rose from the dead On the top of my head! 'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir, Th at's wot did the trick, sir, True, sir, true. Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir, Just like an elixir Ought to do! How about a bottle, mister? Only costs a penny, guaranteed. Does Pirelli's Stimulate the growth, sir? You can have my oath, sir, 'Tis unique. Rub a minute Stimulatin', I'n' it? Soon you'll have to thin it Once a week!
Todd: Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?
Mrs.Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench?
-Duet- Todd: (Mrs.Lovett:) Must be standing near an open trench! (Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench? )
Tobias: Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir: Anything wot's slick, sir, Soon sprouts curls. Try Pirelli's! When they see how thick, sir, You can have your pick, sir, Of the girls!...
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Tobias: Todd: ... Wanna buy a bottle, missus? What is this?
-DUET AS FOLLOWS-
Todd: Mrs. Lovett: Smells like piss. What is this? Looks like piss! Smells like piss! This is piss. Piss with ink! Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear.
Tobias: Let Pirelli's Miracle Elixir Activate your roots, sir
Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir Eats right through.
Tobias: Yes, get Pirelli's! Use a bottle of it! Ladies seem to love it