Johnny was a tall man, but his memory was short. He'd forget to duck at doorways, and often he'd get hurt. I took good care of him for he had no family. Actually he did, but he forgot who they be.
Johnny often liked to go out on the town. He'd forget where he'd be going, so he'd just wander 'round. I knew when he was back for I would hear the smack Of his head hitting the doorway, but tonight it was alack.
Johnny came home headless; it was a great disgrace, But wherever it's a-lying there's a smile upon his face. I should have seen it coming; he finally lost his mind, But if his head don't turn up soon then all his hats are mine.
Johnny came towards me, but suddenly he stopped As if trying to think of something but having no luck. Still he didn't notice that his head weren't there 'Til he took out a brush and tried to comb his hair.
I said, "Johnny where's your cranium?" but he didn't seem to know. He just shrugged his shoulders and tried to find his nose. The sight of him there topless made me start to cry For I feared we'd ne'er again see eye-to-eye.
Johnny came home headless; it was a great disgrace, But wherever it's a-lying there's a smile upon his face. I should have seen it coming; he should have stayed in bed, For now I fear he'll spend his life just trying to get ahead.
Refusing to believe that he had split for good His lower half and me searched the neighborhood. It soon became apparent that his head we wouldn't find it. He could not retrace his steps; he was absent minded.
Well years went by 'til late one night I heard a voice I swore Was Johnny calling out to me; I flung open the door. Johnny's head was home; it took a taxi cab. Alas, it was too late; his body had gone bad.
Johnny's head was homeless; his body was cremated, And the funeral was harder than he had anticipated. "I should of seen it coming," he said in his eulogy, "But never thought I'd have to say I ain't got no-body."
(I ain't got nobody.)
Johnny came home headless; it was a great disgrace, But now his head is on a shelf, a smile upon his face. Now his head is on a shelf, a smile upon his face.