I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind Then my neighbor bought a dog He put a ribbon on its head to make it cute But it still looked like a Chihuahua He had me over to watch it sit and beg It bit my knee and made love to my leg Now it barks all the night and all of the day Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn
I didn't get to sleep last night ‘til very late The stupid dog barked and grr’ed I got up late for work and ran to catch the bus But I slipped on a turd I was certain it wasn't one of mine And that that dog had crossed over the line I wanted to exterminate it and all its kind From my lovely little suburb
I'm gonna kill the dog next door Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is judgment day And the little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn That stupid mutt will soon be gone Gonna kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill that dog
I see the little monster in my garden So I grab an axe and off I go And I try my best to get it All I do is sever my big toe My neighbor comes outside to calm me He says his dog and me should just be friends He puts his little pet in my forgiving hands Then it starts to bite, so I strangle it with all my might Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh!
I'm gonna kill the dog next door (kill the dog next door) Ain't gonna bark anymore 'Cause this is judgment day And the little runt has got to pay No more turds on my lawn (do-dos on my lawn) That stupid mutt will soon be gone Gonna kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill that dog
Now the stupid mutt's in doggie heaven I strangled it to death, and now I'm free But my trouble ain't quite over My neighbor called the cops on me I end up at the police station Where I am told that I must pay A three hundred dollar fine Wow! What a good value! I think I'll kill my neighbor too! Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh!
I'm gonna kill the guy next door (kill the guy next door) Won't call the cops anymore I never liked him anyway Three hundred isn't much to pay There are turds on my lawn (do-dos on my lawn) They must be his, his dog is gone Gonna kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill that guy!