Every family's got this guy They can't shake him no matter how they try There's nothing anyone can do Everybody's got an Uncle Lou
Uncle Lou likes Jerry Springer Uncle Lou says pull my finger Some things he says are just so wrong And his hugs last way too long
Uncle Lou gets his cable free And he calls everybody chief Except when he's in Mexico He just calls you muchacho
Uncle Lou has never wed He wants to swing until he's dead He doesn't wanna be tied down But he'd really like to be tied down
No one's sure how Uncle Lou's related My cousin's ex-wife and he might have dated His mullet and beard have some mysterious goo So don't bob for apples after Uncle Lou
Uncle Lou is a classy man He's got a naked lady painted on his van He's all hands on the dance floor And he doesn't have a bathroom door
Uncle Lou doesn't need to drink To be a total dink He can belch the alphabet If he just knew how it went
He's a big dumb ass, he's a big dumb ass, he's a big dumb ass He's Uncle Lou