Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park, Shaves in the dark Trying to save paper. Sleeps in a hole in the road Saving up to buy some clothes. Keeps a ten bob note up his nose, Such a mean old man, such a mean old man. His sister Pam works in a shop, She never stops, she's a go getter. Takes him out to look at the Queen, Only place that he's ever been. Always shouts out something obscene, Such a dirty old man, dirty old man.