The Black Dog With Black Sifichi - Mental Health Hotline | Текст песни

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• The Black Dog With Black Sifichi
• Mental Health Hotline

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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, because no one will answer
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone
number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly &
carefully press 0 0 0
If you have a bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, plese, try again later.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you. So fuck off