We met at the New Years Party of my vegetarian friend. I said I was studying English, I told you I was in a band I asked what the band was called, I said it’s called The Burning Hell I said I’ve never heard of you, I said that’s probably just as well
Just to make conversation I told you about a dream I had in which Jean Baudrillard was rapping with Public Enemy Shouting “don’t believe the hyperreal” with Flava Flav and Chuck D And I said I think we might have a lot in common then, possibly, Because I’m also a musician and also a student of hip-hoposophy
You mentioned you used to play the clarinet in high school in the early years of the millennium when you were young And you said you’re hired, the pay is negligible, and the tour starts next month You asked what I was working on, I said I’m writing an album of love songs I laughed and said love songs are dumb, and I said oh yeah, wait til you hear these ones
Pass the wine, fuck the government, I love you Three statements overheard at once in the crowded room But I could not be sure which one had come from you So I passed you the wine and said yes, fuck the government, I love you too.
Though neither of us are accomplished dancers we danced a little bit My vegetarian friend was playing the hits of Will Smith, and we got jiggy with it There on the dance floor, the living room dance floor, that’s when it happened You stole my heart, I stole a kiss, we stole someone else’s gin by accident
At some point we got cornered by an amateur poet neither of us knew Either he had no one else to talk to or just couldn’t pick up simple social cues Step by step we backed away until we backed up all the way into the bathroom together We told the poet that we always go together ‘cause that’s what happens when you’ve been dating forever
We stayed in there for ages hoping the amateur poet would go, it was awkward We came out and found he’d discovered someone else to bother, And suddenly it was midnight and auld lang syne time and countdowns and gratuitous public making out And we started shouting because everyone else was shouting and isn’t it fun to shout?