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The Burstein Family - KALE BAZINGEN (THE JOKER SONG) | Текст песни

Oy vey iz mir! says a badkhn.
"May His great Name grow exalted and sanctified" (from kaddish)
Oy, congratulations, bride, let it be a good hour,
Oy, dear bride, today is your day of judgment (implies it's like Yom Kipur)
You should know what you need to do,
Therefore, dear bride, I want to tell you something:
After you get married, don't behave,
as people comport themselves among the Turks!
Because the Gemorah says: "Don't trust in the wealthy and generous,"
You must give your husband goose cracklings three times a week
Dear bride, I must also tell you
That on the day of your wedding you must cry and lament
Oy, dear bride, you must pray to God our father
That you and your husband
Will not tear at each other like a tomcat and his mate
Because the Midrash says: "Let all who are hungry come eat."

Since the man who comes to you under the khupe
Must either be crazy or stupid
Oy, therefore, dear bride, if he should, God forbid, become angry,
You shouldn't wait long, but should go apologize to him
Because the Torah says: "Come in peace, oh crown of your husband,"
Because after your wedding you will be a wife, no longer a bride,
And therefore take an example from twin Torah portions,
When the time comes for the Purim feast,
You should quickly bring to the table
Wine and nuts and gefilte fish, and fresh tsimmes
Because the day, dear bride, is a little Yom Kipur
You must see that you prepare well for Purim
Dear bride, you should always have what your heart desires:
That your husband be strong as iron and healthy as a horse

And if it should come to pass that you have trouble with him
And things, God forbid, get dangerous
You should pray to God
That if your husband gets a hankering to be a widower,
It would be better if you, rather, should become a widow.
And now, in-laws, you should all wish congratulations to the bride
And bring her to the khupe in this good hour
And we all say amen! Congratulations!

http://www.polishjewishcabaret.com/2014/02/a-kale-bazingen-as-performed-by-pesach.html

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