The Incredible Jelly Donut Juicer (feat. Steam Powered Giraffe)
JOHN From the time that he was only three A bright young boy named Timothy Had big ambitions, out to change the world A genius and philanthropist He'd made quite an extensive list Of new designs waiting to be unfurled
Well he spent his life creating things Like special shoes that bounced on springs And toasters that made barbeque pork rinds But though his inventions all were great It seemed that he had yet to make That one to truly benefit mankind
But one foggy morning he noticed a cop Eating some donuts in a coffee shop As he slurped out the insides of his pastry Timothy was struck with his best idea!
It's the incredible jelly donut juicer! It can bring so many people joy Just toss in a donut, turn the knob And out comes that delicious glob A treat for any little girl or boy
THE SPINE When he had built his prototype He had sincerely hoped it might Get noticed at the '29 World's Fair
RABBIT He drew a crowd around his booth Of folks who had a big sweet tooth From Boston Cream to lengthy French éclairs
THE SPINE Well soon he made the front page news The world demanded donut juice And everybody wanted his machine
HATCHWORTH The world became obsessed and crazed With siphoning their jelly glazed The best phenomenon you'd ever seen!
RABBIT And when he displayed it at a science fair A man from a large academy was there He took just one taste and widened his eyes And said,
HATCHWORTH "Son we're giving you The Nobel Prize!"
EVERYONE It's the incredible jelly donut juicer! It can bring so many people joy Just toss in a donut, turn the knob And out comes that delicious glob A treat for any little girl or boy
JOHN Well every success, it comes at a price And though his intentions and dreams were nice The calorie count was just too high And made everybody grow big and wide!
Curse the incredible jelly donut juicer! It can make so many people fat! By guzzling down that tasty glob The people turned to massive blobs So Timothy's invention then was scrapped But he went back home to start again from scratch