He won't prescribe you nothing Nothing that'll fix that rash Selling magic water, 'cause he's only in it for the cash Diluted down to nothing It's John, the Evil Homeopath
You might really be sick, but he'll tell you your chi's out of whack And the only way to fix it is to stick some needles in your back You'll pay through the nose to Evil Acupuncture Jack
He's channeling Jesus Power from beyond the grave I'm not sure what to call it, Maybe quantum theta waves Just write out that cheque to Evil Faith Healing Dave
He says vaccines cause autism and chemo just makes you glow The weeds from his backyard heal anything now, don't you know For a modest fee, go to Evil Naturopathic Joe