When I was first learning of love as a teenager One source gave me all my ideas and theories Jane Austen's masterpiece work, Pride and Prejudice Or actually, the 1995 BBC mini-series
Oh that Mr. Darcy, so gruff and so distant With a sensitive spirit just waiting to shine There's a good reason that women love jerks It seems like a fantastic idea at the time
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Darcy Oh, oh, oh, Colin Firth You're tall, dark, and handsome You're charming and wonderful No other men are worth half what you're worth
When I was 19 I traveled to Europe To study and learn and go clubbing and drink There was a cute boy in my history lessons Who hailed from near London and mostly ignored me
So, of course, I fell for him and his charming voice His detachment and rudeness got me in a snap He finally noticed me at the end of semester Took me on one date and treated me like crap
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Darcy Oh, oh, oh, Colin Firth You wily old bastard, you wonderful specimen You've messed up the hearts of young girls 'round the earth
If you meet a gentleman hailing from England Don't be so impressed; hold on to your heart Just because a guy has a British accent Does not mean he's witty or decent or smart.
If a boy treats you with tasteful indifference If he is handsome, but bristly and cold Don't be intrigued just because he's ignoring you Not every asshole has a heart of gold
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Darcy Oh, oh, oh, Colin Firth You wily old bastard, you wonderful specimen You've messed up the hearts of young girls 'round the earth
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Darcy Oh, oh, oh, Colin Firth You're tall, dark, and handsome You're charming and wonderful No other men are worth half what you're worth