I have a little house Close to town, but not to the city Far from home, but near my family No water views, but so close to the sea I see This is how my little life could be…
And I’m filling it with things Like furniture I find on the street And all the special things I’d like to eat Pictures of people that I’d like to meet I’ll meet them when I’m orbiting the world…
… And it’s so pretty… … And so lonely…
My lovely love affairs Are all scheduled ‘round the TV guide And my sex life has all been plagiarised In an attempt to meet a harsh deadline…
I’d like to rent-a-wife Then rent a husband to keep her for life The three of us, we could be so happy (Them with each other, me with company) I’ll see them off on a flight around the world…
… And it’s so pretty… … And so lonely…
… And at my funeral they will say ‘Tom, he was such a nice guy’ ‘He went too early, but he went in style’ ‘They’ll play my music and then they will cry’
They’ll have a little wake They’ll drink bad wine and they’ll eat lemon cake And my mother’s little heart will break And she’ll say: ‘Wait! There must be some mistake - he can’t be dead Take me instead!!!’
Oh but I’m not dead They tell me I’m not dead They say that I’m not dead And I won’t die for some time…
I’m in my little house Just writing little songs to pass the time Which (incidentally) is precisely nine So don’t you worry, I’m completely fine I’m fine I am just so fucking fine