I'll tell you a story that happened to me One day as I went down to Yore by the sea The sun it was hot and the day it was warm, Says I a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm
I went in and I called for a bottle of stout Says the barman, I'm sorry, all the beer is sold out Try whiskey or paddy, ten years in the wood Says I, I'll try cider, I've heard it was good.
Oh never, Oh never, Oh never again If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
After downing the third I went out to the yard Where I bumped into Brody, the big civic guard Come here to me boy, don't you know I'm the law? Well, I up with me fist and I shattered his jaw
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up But it wasn't I hit him, 'twas Johnny Jump Up The next thing I remember down in Cork by the sea Was a cripple on crutches and says he to me
I'm afraid of me life I'll be hit by a car Won't you help me across to the Celtic Knot Bar? After downing a quart of that cider so sweet He threw down his crutches and danced on his feet
I went up the lee road, a friend for to see They call it the madhouse in Cork by the Sea Butl when I got there, sure the truth I will tell, They had this poor bugger locked up in a cell
Said the guard, testing him, say these words if you can, "Around the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran" Tell him I'm not crazy, tell him I'm not mad It was only a sip of the bottle I had
Well, a man died in the mines by the name of McNabb They washed him and laid him outside on the slab And after the parlors measurements did take His wife brought him home to a bloody fine wake
Twas about 12 o'clock and the beer was high The corpse sits up and says with a sigh I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up Til I bring them a quart of the Johnny Jump Up
So if ever you go down to Cork by the sea Stay out of the ale house and take it from me If you want to stay sane don't you dare take a sup Of that devil drink cider called Johnny Jump Up