The Last Felony - Water Cooler Suicide | Текст песни

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• The Last Felony
• Water Cooler Suicide

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That's how I want it to end.
A footnote on the back of a
crappy newspaper.
A short report by some faggot
with a bad combover on the
morning news.

Something everyone would discuss that day
at work and start their day off
thinking about the uselessness
of their own existence:
a real water cooler suicide.
If you want to be remembered,
you have to go out with a bang.
People judge a story solely on it's ending.

You have to give them what they want:
blood, sex, and controversy.

the more embarrassing, the better!
Most people can't remember
the singer from INXS' name,

but we all know he was found in a hotel room,
hanging from his own belt
with his limp dick in hand.
As a result of an overzealous game
of autoerotic self-asphyxiation.

If he only managed to cum just a bit faster, he might still be alive today.
And we'd probably all have completely forgotten about him by now.

He has attained the status of
a legend through one final disgusting,
self-gratifying, quasi-suicidal, carnal act.

It doesn't matter what you accomplish in life,
as long as you give them something to talk about
when you die.
I want to be remembered for one single
stupidity I committed,
and forgotten who I really was.