If only she had been on poor Titanic The boat never would have fallen all apart For one look at her lovely and sweet angelic face Would have melted that iceberg’s frozen heart
If only she had been in ancient Troy There would have been no war, I’m a-tellin’ you For one look at her smile, and every soldier on that field Would put down their swords and just say ‘Helen who?’
Her eyes shine like the diamonds in a king’s crown Her hair can put the ocean’s waves to shame No one could e’er deny it I dare you to even try it You’ll just give up and ask her for her name
If only she’d been around for William Shakespeare He might have written one good play or two But he never knew true beauty or he would have understood That Juliet just wouldn’t ever do
But if she hadn’t been right here before me To inspire the feeble song that I now croon The chords would be even weaker, and the words would ring less true And the singing would be even more out of tune
So I thank the Lord and all the time I ask him What good deed in a past life did I once do To be rewarded this king’s ransom This priceless pot of gold Of landing here at the same time as you