Listen, listen! Here we go downtown Oh boy Oh, I gotta go all around You can't stop Feel the pull You can't stay, won't stay away Ka-Blamo!
You just won the lottery - that's ka-blamo! You kissed Shannen Doherty - that's ka-blamo! You joined a sorority - that's ka-blamo! You lied about the lottery - not ka-blamo!
You met Fred Segal at a debutante's ball You gave him your number, he gave you a call He told you to meet him at the corner at eight You met him at nine, that's right, you were late You stupid idiot, you don't know what you missed Fred Segal's a star, and you called diss His pimping-ass, cooling-ass, mack-ass building With iggidy-ivy on the wall but not around the lettering You dissed Fred Segal, and everybody knows Ha ha ha ha ha! You're not ka-blamo!
The doc fixed your artery - that's ka-blamo! Your mouthwash is gargly - that's ka-blamo! Your water is watery - that's ka-blamo! I majored in pottery - not ka-blamo!
You're chillin with your dudes and they stab you in the face On the way to the hospital you're bleedin all over the place Your leg is amputated cuz you got gangrene And then you get cancer and you die in your teens But then this really pretty girl who you always really liked Shows up to your funeral and that's a real mixed blessing
Your jello is wobbly - that's ka-blamo! You met Gilbert Gottfried - that's ka-blamo! You're Harlem Globetrottery - that's ka-blamo! You wash the disorderlies - not ka-blamo!
When you're mining for coal and you forget what coal is And you're sure to be fired, because that's your job When a mole's in your ass and you wonder where the mole is You're screwed man, a mole is in your ass... job The meaning of life is revealed to you And all of the drinks are old English brew Your whim is the word of the people on earth But the whole mole-in-the-ass thing is haunting you... earth
When your fluids are bodily That's ka-blamy! What happened to ka-blamo? I mean ka-blamo! Good, that's better That's ka-blamy! Wait, I'm confused... We said ka-blamo!