You stand on a distant planet Skyline of red plateaus Strange air and vegetation You're a winner Welcome to the space Olympics The year 3022 Take part in a grand tradition Your name echoes in the halls of the universe
Ooooh ha hoooo Yeaaah Yeeaaah Believe in yourself Take your game into outer space
Every single galactic athlete needs a coded ID badge Drug tests are mandatory You're a winner The athlete's village is on Zargon You all get a junior suite We don't cover incidentals So keep your ass out the mini-bar
You're the best in the world Brace yourself cause there's no gravity You're in the muthafuckin space Olympics Yeaaaaaaahaaahaaaaaaah
Let it be known by every nation You'll only get one meal a day There was a bit of a budget snafu And food funding is insufficient We can't really enforce a curfew As there is no light or sound Just one of the many problems With hosting a sporting event in space
Attention all athletes There are minor scheduling adjustments
Space disk Is totally cancelled Space swords Is totally cancelled
Space luge Is also cancelled And all other events are pending
Welcome to your space Olympics All the oxygen has run out And someone who will not be named Accidentally hit self-destruct As you file to your escape pods I'll distract the alien hordes And as I stare death in the face I know my sins will take me to hell
You do it for the love My love And there ain't no woman that can take your spot My love