Last night at the pub I met my cousin Rory It was a good day for me so I drank the pints away And when I arrived home, my babe she was a waiting I couldn't understand it why she smacked me in the face
(same chords repeat, including for the chorus and for the solos)
Well nine the next morning she sent me to the job centre They asked me what I do, I said I didn't have a trade They said come back tomorow, I said no problem officer So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away
CHORUS: Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard You drink all night and you sleep all day Get up out of bed you drunken' lazy bastard If you don't get off your arse, then I'll be on my way
When I arrived home, my babe already left me She saw me in the boozer in the middle of the day Well I guess that's the end of our twenty year marriage So I went back to the pub and I put the pints away
CHORUS
Last night at the pub I saw my cousin Rory I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who he had at bay The bastard had my wife that's not the end of the story The dirty drunken bastard drinks twice as much as me!