Happy with no teeth, happy here in hibernation Slurpin' on a peach, starin' at the situation Kitty at my foot, meowin' out a conversation Rockin' back 'n' forth, that's my only destination Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that... Meeeeeeeee-ow, wow, wow, wow Got a two-string on my lap, total subsonic vacation Got chicken on the drums, poundin' out a perfect prescription Got twenty little worms, all plug into amplification Got fifteen hundred bass drum luggin' bug-eyed monkeys All arriving at the station Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that... Me me meeeee-ow whoa, whoa, whoa (Chris and Dave's part sung at the same time) - Improvised Chris: I'm sittin' on the back porch, kickin' my legs back, rockin in my rockin'chair, just sittin' there. On the little back porch it's about to fall apart So I think I might repair it, just as I'm thinkin about repairin' it Some little friends come along with some two-string, one string No string guitars (Hey Chris wanna jam?), and they plug Them all into the back porch, and they sit around playing all their favorite songs And kickin back, feelin' real good, real fine, real full of the wine And everything's fine, everything's beautiful, everything's great And I just feel so good, you know I'm seventy years old and I'm slurpin' everything through a straw Dave: I'm sittin' here on the back porch just eatin' chocolate pudding through a straw And I heated it up on a little sterno stove, tastes just like a warm body fluid goin' down, Little players comin' 'round, pluggin' in their instruments, feelin' good about Themselves, singin' original songs, by the original masters And I'm sittin' there on the porch, rockin' back 'n' forth in my little old chair But I'm an old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that old man is me Old man on the back porch, old man on the back porch Old man on the back porch, and that.....