The road to hogwarts - Shitmonster | Текст песни

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• The road to hogwarts
• Shitmonster

Never was a story of more woe 
Than this of a plumber Joe
You won’t find such a sad thing
In a newspaper or magazine.
Joe was a real womanizer
Too sad he wasn’t a bit wiser
His red moustache was a checkmate
He took off girls’ panties at first date
There was a witch from nameless hill
She fell madly in love with him
From her rage there was no escape
When she saw Joe with another babe
The witch summoned evil forces then
And, red with anger, cursed the man
As she was a real smart ass
She did her duty with excess.
If Joe’s at work and it’s full moon
He’d turn into what he touched there soon

ПРИПЕВ

Hey dude, turn tail, don’t be a pup
When you smell shit and moon is up
The evil’s come for you
The evil from the loo
Poor buddy Joe, a normal guy
Becomes a monster every night
Two centuries have passed this way
You fucked up, Joe, you have to pay!

Never was a story of more woe 
Than this of a plumber Joe
You won’t find such a sad thing
In a newspaper or magazine.
The witch summoned evil forces then
And, red with anger, cursed the man
If Joe’s at work and it’s full moon
He’d turn into what he touched there soon

That day Joe had an urgent call
There was a block in a toilet bowl
The work he did was real hard porn
He cursed the day when he was born!
(ПРИПЕВ)

What tragedies Joe underwent!
But there can be a happy end
A pretty girl can break the spell
If she stands the dreadful smell
When the city is moonlit
She should approach the walking shit
And passionately, with no creeps
Kiss the monster on the lips

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