There's a tramp sittin' on my doorstep Tryin' to waste his time With his methylated sandwich He's a walking clothesline And here comes the bishop's daughter On the other side She looks a trifle jealous She's been an outcast all her life Me, I'm waiting so patiently Lying on the floor I'm just trying to do my jig-saw puzzle Before it rains anymore Oh the gangster looks so fright'ning With his luger in his hand When he gets home to his children He's a family man But when it comes to the nitty-gritty He can shove in his knife Yes he really looks quite religious He's been an outlaw all his life Me, I'm waiting so patiently Lying on the floor I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle Before it rains anymore Me, I'm waiting so patiently Lying on the floor I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle Before it rains anymore Oh the singer, he looks angry At being thrown to the lions And the bass player, he looks nervous About the girls outside And the drummer, he's so shattered Trying to keep up time And the guitar players look damaged They've been outcasts all thier lives Me, I'm waiting so patiently Lying on the floor I'm just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle Before it rains anymore Oh, there's twenty-thousand grandmas Wave their hankies in the air All burning up their pensions And shouting, "It's not fair!" There's a regiment of soldiers Standing looking on And the queen is bravely shouting, "What the hell is going on?" With a blood-curdling "tally-ho" She charged into the ranks And blessed all those grandmas who With their dying breaths screamed, "Thanks!" Me, I'm just waiting so patiently With my woman on the floor We're just trying to do this jig-saw puzzle Before it rains anymore