It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve been home I don’t even know what it feels like anymore. I don’t dream but if I did I know I’d dream of walking up the steps and opening the door and seeing too many birthday cakes and urns filled with ashes and too many posters with too many memories. I wouldn’t dream of rainbow blood and skin with all these slashes and things that never should have been set free.
It hasn’t been that long yet, relatively but everything can change in just a passing second you know how some birthdays can feel like nothing much but other feel like centuries are lit upon your bones and I guess that’s a lesson learned if I’m doing the learning how there’s not much difference between one second and the next but that makes the difference just that little second between breathing and not breathing anymore.
and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death nothing but death nothing but death, death, death, death.
I’ve learned a thing or two about nostalgia like how it creeps upon you like it was always there and how each little thing can then remind you like little jokes and rubber bands and bobs of snow white hair and how each passing moment is tinged with sharp regret but passes so quickly you can’t even see it go and we are all moments just these blips in time passing so quickly I can’t even say hello.
I punch holes in the film of time I’m without reason without rhyme you’d think it would make me wise but it just makes me dead inside.
I know that it’s been ages since I’ve been home I don’t even know if I had one anyway maybe it was destiny or chance but alchemy took over me and carried me away to where planets crash and burn and people become gods and we get no choice in whether we’re human or not and it’s no matter who we’ve lost there’re games that must be played but I remember what they all forgot.
and I haven’t had a moment to catch my breath It seems every time I blink I see nothing but death nothing but death, death, death, death, death, death So give me just one moment to catch my…