A man quizzes his local priest with a view to securing his eternal soul.
Tell me Father whats the craic Is Jesus really coming back And if he does d'ye think he'll live here in the 'burbs? Cos id like to help out round the place A few odd jobs for holy grace And i'll even let you preach your strange old words For ive been a Godless fool They thrashed it outta me at school And i swore id never take a knee again But if you can guarantee me theres A heaven up & a hell down there My wicked sinful ways i'll seek to mend
If all them stars above are saints in some acord And Les Darcy is among em, then i'll make peace with the Lord
I were spat on, I were beat I were tossed into the street Where I lay cackling in the filthy bloody rain I went from bar to bar Callin dogs just what they were Until the next one tried to slap me round the brains A bottle of cheap whisky was the key
Unlocking beasts inside o' me That oughtn't see the the light of day I'd shower on all fours Go punch holes in all the doors And drag my heart around like it were dying prey Ive heard him called so many things 'Hey-Sue Christy' 'King of Kings' Is it Mister Father, Son or Holy Ghost? He could turn the water into wine And we can have a laugh about the time He popped up on that old dears slice o' toast Ive been around & seen some things Slept with witches, fought for Kings And ive sung a song o' joy in many lands But if my dog cant get to Heaven While some mongrels go on livin' I'm not sure he's got the whole world in his hands