Peacocks! Sink me! Think ye, sir, How those feathered boys love to flaunt their tails! Stallions! Zounds, sir! Hounds sir! Stags! Of the goosie and the gander, sir Which gender is the grander, sir To render total candor, sir, the spendour is the male's! Be an example to your sex Give your boot a dapper strap And it's smarter if your garter has some snap! Cravats should be flounced about our necks Wear a nightcap when you nap Be bewitching with some stitching on your cap! Now, drape your cape And puff your cuff Embroider those lapels! Be the kind of the beasts in pastels! La, but someone has to strike a pose And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes And that is why the Lord created men Strut, sir! What, sir? Roosters do! Give a cock his comb and the hens will pale! Bucks! Bulls! More, sir! Boars, sir! Rams! Of the nanny goat and billy, sir Whose beard is fully wooly, sir? It's bully for the billy for he's willy-nilly male! Sir, be a lion-hearted prig Fill those pantaloons with light! I could dangle down a spangle out of sight! Oh, yes! Be bold, sir! When it's cold, slap on that wig Draw your britches in quite tight Even more so, and your torso will ignite Now, smock your frock Perfume your plume I'll let my waistcoat swing! And the jungle will bow to its king! La, but someone has to strike a pose And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes And that is why the Lord created men Yes, that is why the Lord created men Remember what we're here for Why we must be dressed to kill If we have to look like Cleopatra Then we will! If you're out to make a splash, cheri, Do know your haberdashery! Buttons, buckles, ruffles and lace Represent the human race! La, but someone has to strike a pose And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes Each species needs a sex that's fated To be highly decorated That is why the Lord created men