I have a favourite brother And his Christian name is Paul. He's lately joined a football club For he's mad about football. He's got two black eyes already And teeth lost from his gob, Since Paul became a member of That terrible football club.
For he's football crazy, He's football mad, The football it has taken away The little bit o' sense he had, And it would take a dozen servants To wash his clothes and scrub, Since Paul became a member of That terrible football club.
In the middle of the field, one afternoon, The captain says, "Now Paul, Would you kindly take this penalty-kick Since you're mad about football?" So he took forty paces backwards, Shot off from the mark. The ball went sailing over the bar And landed in New York.
His wife, she says she'll leave him If Paulie doesn't keep Away from football kicking At night-time in his sleep. He calls out 'Pass, McGinty!" And other things so droll Last night he kicked her out of bed And swore it was a goal!