Dad's gone down the dog track, Engels' laying cables Brother's with his student friends plotting in the stables They're preparing for power and how to win I'm covered in Solaire and preparing to swim
"Old iron, old iron" I heard the bobby shout As he brought his friendly truncheon down With a God Almighty clout
Mother's playing bingo, she's hoping for a big win She buys the daily papers to see how 10 percent live My cousin's greatest wish is to one day buy a farm And turn it into a health club with top people charm
And any evening, any day I'm singing to myself I'll pack up all my clothes and dough And piss off somewhere else
My ol' man was a dust person until he got the shove Now the iron heel he talked about is backed by the iron glove Brother's bought new glasses, shaped like Leon Trotsky's They look very nice on the mantle piece next to the Royal Family I'm laying back with the radio on in time to hear the Archer's An everyday tale of country folk mixed up in prostitution, hey
Like all good stories with a happy end, which I'll now give to you Our cousin's wish was granted and so his dreams came true His gas shares doubled, his telecoms soared Till he had enough money to chair his own board
Thank you Margaret Thatcher May you never come to harm He now serves cocktails and lettuce At Top Peoples Health Club Farm, hey