If you're reading this, then it's already too late. I had to go on; I had to set things straight, I hope this note at your bedside won't change your opinions of me. I know it's not what we planned, it shouldn't happen yet. But I had to leave; I couldn't bear to see you upset. Don't think of it as goodbye. Well, if the last 30 minutes weren't proof enough, I have a death wish, know you were right all along. But if you waited to read this, you'd see that I'd proven you wrong. I'm just a man and I'm sorry. Betting it all with everything to lose. I'm just a man and I'm sorry. But our love won't change what I have to do. You'll always be my immovable object and I'll forever be your unstoppable force. And for what we lack in physics, it's our chemistry I'e grown to adore. It took me 7 years to finally figure out, and it was just in time for it to turn to shit. The collapse of my family and the messes I've made; you were with me for all of it. It's a hard pill to swallow; a tough act to follow and I'll be the one to take the risk. Don't think of it as goodbye. I spend these nights awake, not thinking what could have been. I spend these nights awake, thinking of what will be. This isn't it for me. I will leave you with this, on your pillow with a one-way kiss. My only hope is that you see it through; you see it to the finish. Kiss our boys for me tonight. For at the end of my life. When I'm face to face with the Lord, I'm going to tell him, he better treat my baby right. And when you make it to heaven, please save me a seat because I just sold my ticket. Tell him it's hard down below. Living life as a river that's destined to overflow. I will swallow the world, I will conquer them all, until it brings me back to you. Sincerely yours, and always true.