I put my shoes on backward on the way out to a dance Then I had to go back home cause I forgot my pants I bought my love a ring and I professed my love of course We were not yet married and she wanted a divorce
Stout it makes you thick, and it makes you thin and lazy Irish whiskey drives me nuts whiskey makes me crazy
I curled up with my wife after I'd gone to wet my throat Then I woke up in the stall all curled up with the goat My friends do not invite me anymore for anything Cause I stumble round their houses all upending everything
My mother used to beat me she would beat me black and blue Now I have a wife and sure she's beating on me too I once had a job and you could say that I was skilled But it's off now to Christina's place to go get fucking drilled