Well I got in my car and went down to the bar To relax from a full workin' day And while drinkin' my beer, I happened to hear This New York banker type say
That this country's all wrong and that we don't belong In affairs that are so far away And so I pushed back my chair And I stood up right there And made sure the whole bar heard me say
I'm Totally Gay for America I'm Totally Gay for the US of A From the east to the west To the North to South
I'd gladly bend down and take Florida in my mouth. I'd tongue kiss Mount Rushmore And drop my pants to my waist Then take the Washington Monument all the way to it's base
There ain't a lot of things that make me feel this way But this country of mine Makes me totally gay
Now I know things ain't right It's on the news every night And in the papers almost everyday I wanna hug Uncle Sam Caress his hair with my hand And let him know that everything is okay
Maybe give him a quick peck at the nape of his neck And rub his shoulders 'til his cares went away Trace the curves of his thighs Then look into his eyes and see if he wants to go 'Hit the Hay'
Cause I'm Totally Gay for America I'm Totally Gay for the US of A I know we could never get married But he'd never ask me anyway Cause it would undermine the family I know that's what he'd say But we could keep it a secret And continue on that way And I'd be faithful and loyal 'til he threw me away
There ain't a lot of things that make me feel this way But this country of mine Makes me totally gay