Doctor, there's something wrong with me My health is not all that it used to be My heart is out of beat, I got chilblains on my feet My eyesight's getting dim and I can't see
Doctor thanks for seeing me today, I'm glad, I've got every sickness there is to be had I had whooping cough last month And today I've got the mumps And tomorrow I'll catch chicken pox as well.
Doctor doctor doctor make me well I've not got long to go now I can tell Doctor doctor doctor make me well I've not got long to go I can tell I've not got long to go I can tell
Those pills I took have no effect at all Just the other day I had a nasty fall And I think I broke my jaw when it hit the kitchen floor And I'm shrinking last week I was five foot four
I've been getting shivers lately, is it flu? I know the bug is going round, what can I do? and it's bound to pick on me, I've still got the other three Do you think I caught smallpox I'd get flu?
[chorus]
Do you think it's time that I made out my will? I'll leave everything to you to pay my bill Just how long is there to go Please tell me I want to know But on second thoughts don't tell me, I'm too ill.