I never kissed a girl 'til I went to college She got drunk and cheated on me I never kissed a boy 'til I went to prison Murder in the first degree
I'm hung like a mouse and horny as a toad I keep a steady hand on the gun She'd get all revved up and say “Come on in” I'd say “Baby I'm already done”
I never kissed a girl 'til I went to college She got drunk and cheated on me I never kissed a boy 'til I went to prison Murder in the first degree
On the day I became a man I asked her If everything was alright She said I gave her the most passionate and erotic Twelve seconds of her life
I may have treated her bad but she treated me worse But she's sorry now you can bet But I got a new lover and he don't like roses He likes candy bars and cigarettes