Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review. No problem. So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say? Absolutely, I'm the boss. Well, so take us through a day in the life of, "The Boss". Well the first thing I do is--
Talk to corporate (like a boss) Approve memos (like a boss) Read a workshop (like a boss) Remember birthdays (like a boss) Direct work-flow (like a boss) My own bathroom (like a boss) Micro-manage (like a boss) Promote synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Deborah (like a boss) Get rejected (like a boss) Swallow sadness (like a boss) Send some faxes (like a boss) Call a sex line (like a boss) Cry deeply (like a boss) Demand a refund (like a boss) Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss) No Promotion (like a boss) 5th of vodka (like a boss) Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss) Buy a gun (like a boss) In my mouth (like a boss) Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!
Pussy out (like a boss) Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss) Jump out the windows (like a boss) Suck a dude's dick (like a boss) Score some coke (like a boss) Crash my car (like a boss) Suck my own dick (like a boss) Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss) Black out in the sewer (like a boss) Meet a giant fish (like a boss) Fuck his brains out (like a boss) Turn into a jet (like a boss) Bomb the Russians (like a boss) Crash into the Sun (like a boss) Now I'm dead (like a boss)
Uh huh. So that's an... average day for you then. No doubt. You chopped your balls off and died. Hell yeah. And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick? Nope. Actually, I'm pretty sure you did. Nah, that ain't me. OK, well this has been eye-opening for me. I'm the boss. Ya, I know, I got that. You said it about 400 times. I'm the boss. Ya, ya, I got it. I'm the boss. No, I heard you, see you later! (like a boss)