(- There was an argument with an ex-girlfriend and I said something about like "a truest love" and she said: "You're mistaken, my first truest love was with multiple adjustible showerhead". I know you're following me, but I'm like - I'm drunk?! I'm gonna sing this damn song right now. - Yeah, you are! - Why can't you be)
Are you frightened by the weight to possess or Is this life just weightlessness And smoggy twilight in LA I can't think of one real thing to say And Robbie Williams is walking in the canyons Forgets that we were friends I guess it all depends on your mood - Why can't these meds be any damn good?
And she said: Why can't you be Like my waterpik shower massager - A sweet reliable machine. And to tell the truth, I don't feel less alone, A water massager is the purest love I've ever known Why can't you be Like when I was thirteen
Why can't you be Like an art house foreign movie Frank and sexy, red balloons and ennui And allude to me And why can't you be A little more of a mystery?
Why can't you be The part of me that's missing Instead of leaving me for some other Say: we're perfect for each other And I know we won't go spend our lives alone.
And she said: Why can't you be Like an outsourced government contract I'm a fat cat gettin' away with anything Kicking some secret special powers Illumination rounds in showers Cause you're tearing your hair out While we can have a bed of flowers
And I said: Why can't you be Like the chicks out on the road Some girls are happy just to see me Because you got moxie and a broken nose You take him away from this prose Sometimes a blowjob's not enough Why can't you play A little less rough?
Why can't you be The part of me that's missing Instead of leaving me for some other Say: we're perfect for each other And I know we won't go spend this life alone
Can we... just leave it be We could live... our lives... separately Could you forget... what happens to you To you and me
When we're dead... and we'll be dead We'll have eternity And I will spend it all... missing you, Missing you and me So while I'm alive... I will always be
Seeking you out, Digging you out, Wondering about how it goes so far down And what's wrong with you, What's wrong with you and me.
Why can't you be Someone lookin' deeper into me Like J.D. Salinger Why do I challenge her In all these surface ways That you displease Why can't you be A little more at ease?
Why can't you be Like a hand-rolled cigarette? I'm not joking This masochistic self-pity of smoking And this city ditty I keep provoking you to leave me
She said: Why can't you be Like a candle I can snuff You're still a diamond in the rough And I swear to God - I've had enough How can I call your bluff?