Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - Every OS sucks | Текст песни

• Тексты песен
• Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie
• Every OS sucks

intro:

You see, I come from a time in the nineteen-hundred and seventies when computers were used for two things: to either go to the moon, or play Pong, nothing in between, you see. You didn’t need a fancy operating system to play Pong, and the men who went to the moon — God Bless ‘em — did it with no mouse, and a plain text-only black-and-white screen, and 32 kilobytes of RAM.

But then ’round ’bout the late 70’s, home computers started to do a little more than play Pong… very little more. Like computers started to play games, and balance checkbooks, and why… you could play Zaxxon on your Apple II, and write a book! All with a computer that had 32 kilobytes of RAM! It was enough to go to the moon, it was enough for you.

It was a golden time. A time before Windows, a time before mouses, a time before the internet and bloatware, and a time before every OS sucked!

/noises of pleasure/

===

Well, way back in the olden days
My computer worked for me
I'd laugh and play all night and day
On Zork I, II and III.
The Amiga, VIC-20 and the Sinclair II,
The TRS 80 and the Apple II,
they did what they were supposed to do,
wasn’t much… but it was enough.

Then XEROX made a prototype,
Steve Jobs came on the scene
Read of mice and menus, windows, icons
a trash and a bitmap screen
Old Stevie said to XEROX
"Boys, turn your heads and cough."
And when no-one was looking he ripped their interfaces off!

Stole every feature that he had seen,
put it in a cute box with a tiny little screen,
MacOS 1 ran that machine,
only cost five thousand bucks.
But it was slow, it was buggy so they wrote it again,
and now they're up to OS X
They'll charge you for the beta then charge you again,
but the MacOS still sucks.

chorus:
Every OS wastes your time from the desktop to the lap
Everything since AppleDOS is just a bunch of crap
From Microsoft to Macintosh to Lin-Line-Lin-Line-ux
Every computer crashes, 'cause every OS sucks

Well then Microsoft jumped in the game,
copied Apple's Interface with an OS named
Windows 3.1 - it was twice as lame
but the stock price rose and rose.
Then Windows 95 then '98,
man, Solitare never ran so great
and every single version came out late
but I guess that's the way it goes
but that bloatware will crash and delete your work!
NT, ME, man, none of them work!
Bill Gates may be richer than Captain Kirk
but the Windows OS blows (and sucks, at the same time!)

I'd trade it in, yeah right, for what?
It's top of the line, from the Compu Hut
The Fridge, Stove and Toaster never crash on me.
I should be able to get online without a PHd.

My phone doesn't take a week to boot it
My TV doesn't crash when I mute it
I miss ASCII text and my floppy drive
I wish VIC 20 were still alive...
(but it ain't the hardware, man!)
It's just that every OS sucks and blows

Now there's Linux or Lineux,
I don't know how you say it
Or how you install it or use it or play it.
or where you download it or what programs run,
but Linux or Lineux don't look like much fun.
However you say it, it's getting great press
though how it survives is anyone's guess
If you ask me, it's a great big mess for elitist nerdy schmucks.
"It's free!" they say, if you can get it to run
The geeks say "Hey, that's half the fun!"
Yeah, but I've got a girlfriend and things to get done
The Linux OS sucks!
(I'm sorry to say it, but it does.)

chorus:
Every OS wastes your time, from the desktop to the lap
Everything since the abacus is just a bunch of crap
From Microsoft to Macintosh to Lin-Line-Lin-Line-ux
Every computer crashes, 'cause every OS sucks
Every computer crashes, 'cause ever