Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3, 4, and 5 If you are paranoid, stay on the line and we trace your call
Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you what to press If you have low self esteem, it doesn't matter which number you press - we don't care If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep And of course, if you're [???], please hang up now