If I didn't have you to hold me tight If I didn't have you to lie with at night If I didn't have you to share my sighs And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry
Well I really think that I would... Have somebody else
(If I didn't have you) If I didn't have you, someone else would do
Your love is one in a million You couldn't buy it at any price But of the 9.999 hundred thousand other loves Statistically, some of them would be equally nice Or maybe not as nice but, say, smarter than you Or dumber but better at sport or tracing I'm just saying (I really think that I would) Probably (Have somebody else)
Yeah
(If I didn't have you) If I didn't have you someone else would do (Someone else would surely do)
If I were a rich man Diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-ee I guess I would be with a surgeon or a model Or a rellie of the Royals or a Kennedy Or a nymphomonical exhibitionist heiress to a large chain of hotels If I were a rich man, maybe I would fiddle Fiddle-diddle-diddle with the rich man girls
I'm not saying that I'd not love you if I was wealthy or handsome But realistically there's lots of fish in the sea And if I had a different rod I would concievably land some Even though I am fiscally consistantly pitiable And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad Pitiful Am I really so poor and ugly that you reckon only you could possibly love me? And I (Really think that I would) Probably (Have somebody else)
If I didn't have you, someone else would do
And look, I'm not undervaluing what we've got when I say That given the role chaos inevitably plays in the inherently flawed notion of \"fate\" It's obtuse to deduce that I've found my soulmate at the age of seventeen It's just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth I happened to stumble on the one girl on Earth specifically designed for me
And if I may conjecture a further objection, love is nothing to do with destined perfection The connection is strengthened, the affection simply grows over time Like a flower Or a mushroom Or a guinea pig Or a vine Or a sponge Or bigotry ... or a banana
And love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy or... something
So I trust it would go without saying That I would feel really very sad If tomorrow you were to fall off something high Or catch something bad But I'm just saying I don't think you're special I-I mean, I think your special But you fall within a bell curve I mean, I'm just saying I (Really think that I would) Probably (Have somebody else)
I think you are unique and beautiful You make me happy just by being around But objectively, you would have to agree that baby when I found you Options were relatively thin on the ground You're lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you And maybe more open to spanking or fuckin' crayons I'm just saying (Really think that I would) Probably (Have somebody else)
I mean I reckon it's pretty likely that if, for example My first girlfriend, Jackie, hadn't dumped me After I kissed Winston's ex-girlfriend Neah at Steph's party back in 1993 And our variables would probably have been altered by the absence of that event To have meant the advent of a tangential narrative in which we don't meet Which is to say there exists a theoretical hypothetical parallel life Where what is is not as it is and I am not your husband and you are not my wife
And I am a stuntman living in LA Married to a small, blonde Portuguese skier Who, when she's not training Does abstract painting Practices yoga And brews her own beer A